Text 34
mayaitat prārthitaṁ vyarthaṁ
cikitseva gatāyuṣi
prasādya jagad-ātmānaṁ
tapasā duṣprasādanam
bhava-cchidam ayāce ’haṁ
bhavaṁ bhāgya-vivarjitaḥ
mayā — by me; etat — this; prārthitam — prayed for; vyartham — uselessly; cikitsā — treatment; iva — like; gata — has ended; āyuṣi — for one whose life; prasādya — after satisfying; jagat-ātmānam — the soul of the universe; tapasā — by austerity; duṣprasādanam — who is very difficult to satisfy; bhava-chidam — the Personality of Godhead, who can cut the chain of birth and death; ayāce — prayed for; aham — I; bhavam — repetition of birth and death; bhāgya — fortune; vivarjitaḥ — being without.
It is very difficult to satisfy the Supreme Personality of Godhead, but in my case, although I have satisfied the Supersoul of the whole universe, I have prayed only for useless things. My activities were exactly like treatment given to a person who is already dead. Just see how unfortunate I am, for in spite of meeting the Supreme Lord, who can cut one’s link with birth and death, I have prayed for the same conditions again.
Sometimes it so happens that a devotee engaged in the loving service of the Lord desires some material benefit in exchange for this service. This is not the proper way to discharge devotional service. Out of ignorance, of course, sometimes a devotee does so, but Dhruva Mahārāja regrets his personal behavior in this connection.