Text 27
dhiṅ māṁ vigarhitaṁ sadbhir
duṣkṛtaṁ kula-kajjalam
hitvā bālāṁ satīṁ yo ’haṁ
surā-pīm asatīm agām
dhik mām — all condemnation upon me; vigarhitam — condemned; sadbhiḥ — by honest men; duṣkṛtam — who has committed sinful acts; kula-kajjalam — who has defamed the family tradition; hitvā — giving up; bālām — a young wife; satīm — chaste; yaḥ — who; aham — I; surā-pīm — with a woman accustomed to drinking wine; asatīm — unchaste; agām — I had sexual intercourse.
Alas, all condemnation upon me! I acted so sinfully that I degraded my family tradition. Indeed, I gave up my chaste and beautiful young wife to have sexual intercourse with a fallen prostitute accustomed to drinking wine. All condemnation upon me!
This is the mentality of one who is becoming a pure devotee. When one is elevated to the platform of devotional service by the grace of the Lord and the spiritual master, one first regrets his past sinful activities. This helps one advance in spiritual life. The Viṣṇudūtas had given Ajāmila the chance to become a pure devotee, and the duty of a pure devotee is to regret his past sinful activities in illicit sex, intoxication, meat-eating and gambling. Not only should one give up his past bad habits, but he must always regret his past sinful acts. This is the standard of pure devotion.