Text 46
su-dustyaja-sneha-viyoga-kātaro
na śaknuvaṁs taṁ parihātum āturaḥ
kṛcchraṁ yayau mūrdhani bhartṛ-pāduke
bibhran namaskṛtya yayau punaḥ punaḥ
su-dustyaja — impossible to give up; sneha — (from Him) in whom he had reposed such affection; viyoga — because of separation; kātaraḥ — beside himself; na śaknuvan — being incapable; tam — Him; parihātum — to abandon; āturaḥ — overwhelmed; kṛcchram yayau — he experienced great pain; mūrdhani — upon his head; bhartṛ — of his master; pāduke — the slippers; bibhran — carrying; namaskṛtya — bowing down to offer obeisances; yayau — he went away; punaḥ punaḥ — again and again.
Greatly fearing separation from Him for whom he felt such indestructible affection, Uddhava was distraught, and he could not give up the Lord’s company. Finally, feeling great pain, he bowed down to the Lord again and again, placed the slippers of his master upon his head, and departed.
According to the Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam (3.4.5), while Uddhava was enroute to Badarikāśrama he heard about the Lord’s journey to Prabhāsa. Turning back and following Lord Kṛṣṇa from behind, he saw the Lord alone just after the withdrawal of the Yadu dynasty. After being again mercifully instructed by the Personality of Godhead (along with Maitreya, who had just arrived), Uddhava felt his knowledge of the truth reawaken, and then, by the order of the Lord, he went on his way.