Text 19
didṛkṣus tad ahaṁ bhūyaḥ
praṇidhāya mano hṛdi
vīkṣamāṇo ’pi nāpaśyam
avitṛpta ivāturaḥ
didṛkṣuḥ — desiring to see; tat — that; aham — I; bhūyaḥ — again; praṇidhāya — having concentrated the mind; manaḥ — mind; hṛdi — upon the heart; vīkṣamāṇaḥ — waiting to see; api — in spite of; na — never; apaśyam — saw Him; avitṛptaḥ — without being satisfied; iva — like; āturaḥ — aggrieved.
私は再び主の超越的姿を見たいと望んだ。しかし、熱心に主の姿の映像にハートを集中しようとしても、私は主をそれ以上見ることができなかった。それで、私は失望して非常に心を悩まされた。
There is no mechanical process to see the form of the Lord. It completely depends on the causeless mercy of the Lord. We cannot demand the Lord to be present before our vision, just as we cannot demand the sun to rise whenever we like. The sun rises out of his own accord; so also the Lord is pleased to be present out of His causeless mercy. One should simply await the opportune moment and go on discharging his prescribed duty in devotional service of the Lord. Nārada Muni thought that the Lord could be seen again by the same mechanical process which was successful in the first attempt, but in spite of his utmost endeavor he could not make the second attempt successful. The Lord is completely independent of all obligations. He can simply be bound up by the tie of unalloyed devotion. Nor is He visible or perceivable by our material senses. When He pleases, being satisfied with the sincere attempt of devotional service depending completely on the mercy of the Lord, then He may be seen out of His own accord.