Text 35
sūta uvāca
kṛpayā sneha-vaiklavyāt
sūto viraha-karśitaḥ
ātmeśvaram acakṣāṇo
na pratyāhātipīḍitaḥ
sūtaḥ uvāca — Sūta Gosvāmī said; kṛpayā — out of full compassion; sneha-vaiklavyāt — mental derangement due to profound affection; sūtaḥ — Sañjaya; viraha-karśitaḥ — distressed by separation; ātma-īśvaram — his master; acakṣāṇaḥ — having not seen; na — did not; pratyāha — replied; ati-pīḍitaḥ — being too aggrieved.
Sūta Gosvāmī said: Because of compassion and mental agitation, Sañjaya, not having seen his own master, Dhṛtarāṣṭra, was aggrieved and could not properly reply to Mahārāja Yudhiṣṭhira.
Sañjaya was the personal assistant of Mahārāja Dhṛtarāṣṭra for a very long time, and thus he had the opportunity to study the life of Dhṛtarāṣṭra. And when he saw at last that Dhṛtarāṣṭra had left home without his knowledge, his sorrows had no bound. He was fully compassionate toward Dhṛtarāṣṭra because in the game of the Battle of Kurukṣetra, King Dhṛtarāṣṭra had lost everything, men and money, and at last the King and the Queen had to leave home in utter frustration. He studied the situation in his own way because he did not know that the inner vision of Dhṛtarāṣṭra has been awakened by Vidura and that therefore he had left home in enthusiastic cheerfulness for a better life after departure from the dark well of home. Unless one is convinced of a better life after renunciation of the present life, one cannot stick to the renounced order of life simply by artificial dress or staying out of the home.